I've Done it Again

I really do have to stop chatting to charity fundraisers. Ever since I worked as a fundraiser last summer and had a firsthand experience of how hard it actually is standing in the street hours on end getting rejected by the public who look at you with more contempt than a piece of dog shit on their shoe, I have always stopped and had a chat with them.

There’s a guy who fundraises quite frequently on the cobbled streets of Durham and he has stopped me on a number of occasions. Now I do give to charity on a monthly basis and also volunteer for them and as my funds are very much nonexistent right now, I really do have to keep a tight lid on who I give to, but today, after many efforts of signing me up, he finally got me and I have ended up signing up direct debit for yet another charity. This time it’s Save the Children, a move away from my usual mental health charities.

The problem is, even in this time of credit crunching nightmares, I just can’t help doing something like this when I feel lousy. I’m not a religious person but it seems that every time I have a meaningful thought of self harm or suicide I have to do something like this to make up for it, repent my sins so to speak. While I myself have no problem giving to charity like this, my bank balance has something else to say about it. I think I may need to set up a restraining order against all fundraisers, wonder if it’s possible to do that...