Kick Me Whilst I'm Down

Hmm, realised I hadn’t updated this in a few days, though to be honest, I haven’t had the energy to. The last week or so has been hectic to say the least and my whole world has just collapsed around me. I really don’t know where to start.

Thursday night I had another scare. I managed to bypass the alcohol this time, but instead I went straight to the kitchen drawer, pulled out a knife and scored my arm until I could see the deep crimson seeping through. I would like to say that I very rarely do this. I don’t get much from it and I ended up feeling worse afterwards. Managed to phone the crisis team though...after I’d harmed myself, but still, it’s an improvement from not being able to phone for help. Now I just need to work on phoning before I do something stupid...

Anyway my doctor has decided to switch my medication. I’m currently on Citalopram (40mg) but I really haven’t felt any better on it and the fact that I have overdosed whilst on the stuff tends to suggest they weren’t working for me. More surprised that I haven't been taken off them sooner. For almost a week now I’ve been taking 20mg to start to taper off it and in terms of withdrawal effects all I have is slight light-headedness now and then and sleepiness. On Friday my doctor is going to review things and then start me on the new stuff, Venalfaxine. This is a different type of anti-depressant to Citalopram and after researching it I’ve decided it much scarier. The side effects are more extreme and also overdosing on it can screw you up pretty badly. I’m a little concerned. I’ve already reacted badly to one type of AD (Prozac) and that wasn’t nice. The main problem I have is I have a job interview on the 13th and if I’ve reacted badly to this medication I could quite easily mess up.

On top of this worry I found out on the weekend that my dad had been keeping letters from me back in Wales, pretty important letters, urgent letters, from my student loan company. Because I suspended my course a few months back they have obviously suspended my loan payments, but they also have refused to cover the tuition fees for my new course in October. I have spent this week on the phone constantly trying to sort it out and they may be able to change that decision but in terms of my finances right now, I’m screwed. Currently well into my overdraft, rent to pay, bills to pay, general living costs on top of that with nothing coming in. I was relying on the student loan people to be a bit more sympathetic about my situation but as the letters were kept from me for over a month, there’s very little I can do. So now I’ve been filling in forms upon forms to try and get some sort of benefits to cover my shortfalls. Normally I could cope with all this but with how I’ve been feeling, tapering off medication, new medication to deal with shortly, presentation to prepare for my job interview, it’s all far too much. I’m getting driven crazy and right now I have so little energy I’m surprised I’ve managed to type this much without collapsing.

I have no idea if this post even makes sense but there we have it, I need sleep and have no energy to check over it.

Is Suicide in Japan a Socio-Cultural Phenomenon?

A friend earlier today discussed her current essay titles and one of them grabbed my attention. Is Suicide in Japan a Socio-Cultural Phenomenon? It is an interesting topic. For me, someone who often has thoughts of suicide and has a history of overdoses and self harm to my name, I put suicidal thoughts purely down to my depression. The thought of my actions being down to society and culture doesn’t even cross my mind, but of course, society and culture is very different in Japan.

Japan has long been providing social studies on suicide. Take the suicide bombings in the Middle East for example. This can easily be traced to Japan’s “Kamikaze”, the suicide air attack squad at the end of World War II. Tracing back even further and we have the samurai’s, the Japanese warriors. In order to protect the samurai from being killed by executioners, a form of suicide, hara-kiri, was committed. This wasn’t seen as some sick, heartless sacrifice as many in the western world would perceive it, but a privilege in society. Another form of suicide, shinjyuu, was committed among intimate people such as between lovers or families.

Here, suicide is seen by some as a selfish act, an act that goes against many religious teachings. By others, it is perceived as a last resort, an escape. Rarely is it seen as an act of good. Suicide in Japan however is seen as an act of individual dignity, of freewill, and has a long lasting cultural association with saving family fame, a noble act almost.

In this modern day and age there is more pressure on Japanese, especially men, to make money and be successful. In these days of recession, economic slump and high unemployment, this is becoming harder to do. It comes as no surprise then that statistically men are more likely to commit suicide in Japan than women. Failure isn’t an option for them and suicide is often attempted in a bid to get life insurance for the family. With the invention of the internet comes arise of suicide pacts in Japan, thus bringing a new phenotype of “group suicide culture”. Suicide is fine as long as people do it together.

I personally see suicide in Japan as a socio-cultural phenomenon. Despite many policies being proposed to help reduce the suicide rates, they are treating the suicides as a mental health issue. In fact, many psychiatrists are arguing that past suicides were due to depression and are urging people to regard suicide as a product of pathology. Even though I agree with this, I don’t think this is the way to go about it. For someone who is depressed a mental health hotline and counselling can prevent suicide, for someone who is under financial strain it will not help.

Japan is developing a vocabulary of motives associated with suicide permitting the Japanese to believe that they have no other choice but to die. As a result, they are resisting mental health efforts such as medication for depression. In order to move Japan away from the “nation of suicide” you first need to change the society. Allow more aid for those in financial difficulties, for those who are unemployed, change the pessimistic outlook on life. Then concentrate on the mental health aspect. This may seem like an indirect route, but personally I believe it is the most secular way to reduce suicide rates in Japan.